I am so excited to announce the “GRL PWR Giveaway”! I teamed up with the @afterglowpodcast and @marinasjouissance nasjouissance and handpicked these items. I really wanted to do something special for you guys and giveaways are so fun! _____________________________ •The rules: 1. Follow me, @what.cosmo.leftout, @afterglowpodcast and @marinasjouissance on Instagram 2. Like this post and tag 3 friends 3. For an extra 3 entries, repost this picture and caption. ______________________________ •The prize: One winner will receive a “GRL PWR” T-shirt, pink sunglasses, “Girl Gang” iPhone 8 case, Instagram logo Pop Socket, Victoria Secret Bombshell Eau de Parfum 1.7 fl. oz., ten piece pink brush set, pink faux fur crossbody with gold chain strap, “Sexy undies” pin, “Fresh boys tears” pin, unicorn cosmetic pouch, and a kawaii unicorn keychain. _______________________________ •Ends September 19 at 10 am. •Winner will be announced on September 19 at 12 pm. US entries only.
A Beautiful Mind 13 September 2018
I endured 44 minutes of “Model Squad” on E! because I often love to veg out on reality tv. It is so unrealistic and is like an alternate reality. I also feel it is such an amazing reflection of what is spoon-fed to us by the media. In the show, I watched different models do awkward skits of their lives and vaguely describe their upbringings and lifestyles. I never got to know any of them, really. They are beautiful and very thin and spoke about how work revolves around their image. The women weren’t portrayed with substance and didn’t feel connected when they talked to each other or at the camera. As I watched this show, I was bored and wanted to learn real facts about these women. How did they meet their boyfriends? How do they emotionally deal with a job that dictates their eating habits and physical features? How do they feel about themselves?
While it was the pilot, I felt like this show really displayed what society preaches to us: “Beauty or brains, but not both.” As women, we are taught this around puberty and it sets in and is often a theme in life.
There are girls that like to read and do math, and there are girls that wear lots of makeup and go to parties. There are women that are computer programmers and CEO’s and there are women that are housewives and models. As women, our looks depict society’s perceptions of our IQ and evidently, depth.
A few years ago, I traveled to San Jose, CA and noticed something very different about their female population. I’ve grown up in Orange County, CA where nose jobs happen before the age of eighteen and makeup is full fledged in 7th grade. But San Jose was a different beauty routine. Lululemon, Birkenstocks and Stanford degrees run rampant. All while, an Anastasia Contour palate is nowhere to be seen. Women were natural and did as much glam prep as maybe the average male. Women are much more educated in NorCal than SoCal and it transcends their appearance, and you could say gender. This posed my question, why are smarter avoiding sparkly highlighter and defined brows?
Many people, men and women alike, will argue that smart women don’t care about beauty products or the rules of societal beauty standards because they are SMARTER. And by “smart”, I mean they don’t care what defines beauty or how they look because they have a high IQ and are competent like their male counterparts- who could care less about physical appearance. For example, women with masters degrees and are CEO’s do not have large fake breasts and a face full of makeup, because they don’t need or like those characteristics.
This ideology is prime misogyny, by just the discount of a feminine attribute or even looking feminine and negating it based on male superiority. To fully break it down to simpler terms, women look pretty to attract men and men attract women with performance of success. Therefore, women that focus more on performance and success are the superior divide of the female population.
This is such a common theme in education and female misogyny (women being misogynist to other women). I really think this mindset derives from how we are encouraged as children. Parents will tell girls they are “pretty” or “beautiful” or some parents will tell their girls they are “smart” and “brilliant”. While boys will hear: “strong”, “smart”, “talented”. Compliments towards young boys are rarely based on physical appearance. Children internalize these compliments and strive closer towards them when they are heard. Young girls separate themselves to smart and beautiful and don’t find the two labels coexisting in self definition. They will say “I’m smart, I’m not good at makeup and girly stuff” or vice versa. They take a label that feels innate, yet still praised.
Growing up, my father used to tell me in middle school, “Go to school, it doesn’t matter what you wear or look like”. He would tell this to me so I would avoid wasting time to get ready in the morning and putting makeup. While this raised me with a positive female perspective of education, I would feel insecure at school. I would look at myself in the bathroom and feel so insecure. I would be uncomfortable without makeup and an outfit I didn’t like. I would go into class not feeling good about myself and feel ugly. By college, I chose later classes so I could get ready in the morning. Of course for finals, I would show up with forgetting deodorant and in sweatpants off the floor. But, before finals I loved looking my best at school and admiring myself when walking past windows. With false eyelashes and lipstick on, I was confident and would always raise my hand in lecture and ask questions and participate because I felt good about myself. I am just not someone that feels good without makeup and that’s okay. It has been a hard pill to swallow for me because a large part of me loves the routine of the morning transformation and actually looking as good as I feel after I put makeup on and wear certain things. How we feel beautiful shouldn’t be shamed and whether that’s natural or not, that’s okay.
My argument isn’t based off of the glam-shaming I’ve endured while pursuing my education or just in everyday life. I am truly sick of the the fact that women are boxed into labels that anyone can acquire and shamed for only being sexy OR smart. We really are forced to choose over being sexy or smart because being both is unbelievable. If you’ve seen “Cinderella Story” with Hillary Duff (one of my favorite movies), we can remember the scene where the stepmother tells her “You’re not very pretty and you’re not very bright.” And sadly, we are raised with this mentality. As women, we compensate for what we feel we lack. Or even the popular meme, “F*ck math, I’ll be a stripper.” Society designs us to believe we have one “redeeming”quality-but never both.
I sincerely hope that as women, we don’t separate ourselves into being either smart or beautiful. I hope we end making fun of girls that wear too much makeup and insinuate they’re dumb. I hope we stop portraying smart, successful women as unattractive/nerdy/mediocre looking. I hope that we as women see all women with high self-value and intelligence, regardless of their physical appearance. I hope the stigma that women are one label dies off and my granddaughter will know and be taught she’s beautiful and brilliant.